Child abuse destroys every hope of a normal life

If there is one thing I loathe writing about, it is my past and in general child abuse and the Satan sect. It’s necessary however and so time and time again I make another effort. Today I woke up with the sudden memory of a mother in my previous city who apparently abused her children in an extremely “tender” way. She let them know what sexuality is by touching them in ways parents aren’t allowed to. I was so shocked that I stayed for hours processing what I had seen. 

I had definitely seen her son was too adult for his age, but didn’t know that was a sign of sexual abuse then. Also have I seen her kiss her children on the mouth and I remember telling her I found that scary. She waved it away saying many parents do that and I was shy to answer I find all such people scary. My foster parents did that too when I was a kid and I remember a friend of mine told me that was weird. Then I told them to stop doing that, which took me years, since they too abused me. Sexually or otherwise abusing children is a sign of satanism and nothing else! Pedophilia without the Satan sect does NOT exist. We should call things by their names.


The hatred destroys you

Maybe you find it strange – I myself do – but while processing my past, I experience that the sexual acts themselves haven’t hurt me most of all. It’s horrible to see those things again and to feel the desperation and physical pain I felt as a little girl, but what hurts me most is the hatred my foster parents had towards me. They traumatised me as a high priestess AND as MK Ultra, the talent “programme” of the Satan sect. They tried very hard to make me a bad person, but I was a bad student in that way. I just don’t believe in evil, in magic, hatred, jealousy and certainly not in traumatising a child in order to make it do what the sect wants. So strange enough that priest programme, even if it had so much sexual abuse, satanic rituals and horror wasn’t the worst.

MK Ultra is bad. It doesn’t have a lot of sexual abuse, but you are being humiliated by getting scolded at, called names, played down, denigrated and treated with hatred. You are beaten up, pulled by the hair, locked up in your room for hours and treated without the slightest spark of love or consideration. Worse: they don’t even see you;  your bare existence is completely denied. You never ever hear one compliment about yourself except about that one thing the sect wants you to do in life. If that is being a singer, then you will hear compliments about your voice or acting abilities followed by harsh criticism about your poor achievements. If it is being a politician or a prominent business figure, you hear compliments about the one talent they want you to develop. They don’t do that by teaching you things in a nice way, but by downgrading anything else you do and by giving sharp and mean remarks about the progress you make in developing your “talent”.


Forced and squeezed into one talent

What they basically do, is force you into developing a talent all by yourself, by closing the doors to anything else in life. Result is a person who is incapable of having relationships, of learning anything else, of dealing with children, doing the householding, doing other work than the one thing you are obliged to and so on. Plus there is another really horrible thing in MK Ultra: you are ALWAYS also trained to be a prostitute. I think that is because you must be totally detached from your body and not care at all who abuses it. For work (by exhausting you) and for sex against your will. Look at Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Georgina Verbaan, Katja Schuurman; at Mark Rutte, Sigrid Kaag, Nancy Pelosi or father Joe and son Hunter Biden to see what I mean. Some of these people have lost their ability to feel and have become soldiers of The System. Others like Beyoncé and Britney Spears fight for their lives to get OUT of that horror sect.

The sect gets you acquainted with prostitution and criminality in your teens or even earlier and tries to make you quit school. Only if you are extremely strong and focussed on that one talent you’re allowed to display, you will make it through school and further studies. If not, you will start taking drugs to ease the pain and to silence the hatred you have been brought up with and you will end up in the street. This is their way of making you focussed on that one thing they allow you to do in your life: they work very hard against you, so you have to push even harder to learn your thing, or else you’ll end up in drugs. So I now know the reason why my foster parents threw me out of the house and thought I’d take off to Amsterdam to end up in a brothel, was planned by that horror sect and meant to test me. They wouldn’t have saved me if I had failed, which they would have done for anyone else, because they thought I’d put an end to their sect and their worldpower and hated me for that – even if I didn’t have any such plans.

For me the one allowed talent was languages.  I had to learn as many as possible of them, even if my foster “parents” heavily stood in the way of anything I tried to learn with their jealousy. So the about 8 languages I more or less speak, are still a lot. The sect wanted me to be an interpreter, but my foster parents had thrown me off the stairs too many times for that. I have serious brain damage because of that and one of the things it implicates is that I can’t listen to someone talking and translate at the same time. Moreover I forget all the words, because my short-term memory collapsed by all the terror of my childhood. I was “fortunately” strong enough not to end up in the street and intuitively knew I had to do anything to keep myself safe. There was no way to earn money now, since they actively blocked anything else I tried to survive: secretary school, jobs as a secretary, a receptionist or other jobs at a company, teaching languages and translating. It cost me about 8 years to learn how to teach and then the miracle came out: I became the best teacher ever, but with how many sacrifices. Plus as soon as I succeeded, the sect tried to tackle me, in which they succeeded in 2010.

 I suddenly remember I was only so extremely, anormally good at French. That was the language the sect wanted me to learn and they blocked everything else, starting with (ancient) Greek. I struggled so much learning Greek because they absolutely didn’t want me to find my roots and even more dangerous to them: my memory they had so carefully erased. So you see how narrow MK Ultra is: only that ONE thing they prepared for you, is open for you to learn and the rest is hermetically blocked and closed.

They do such with psychological methods – sharp criticism and so on – but also with magic (I still don’t believe in it, but the truth must be said), satanic rituals and – yes! – tech. They have all kinds of totally weird devices no-one has ever heard of. Like the one my man and parents use to communicate with me. I’m sure it has been made for the Satan sect and they found them at some point.


Everything has a reason

Now that I start realising why I have to suffer so much and why the whole government of the Netherlands, especially this stupid and corrupt municipality of Waadhoeke where I am obliged to live, is so against me. The place where they set a far-left mayor who had been a grand failure in another town (Dokkum): Marga Waanders. The whole province of Friesland knows me and my family and they know they have to obstruct us in any possible way. Even when they succeeded in sending my eldest son to live with a drug addict and another house mate in a filthy house, a few months later the municipality (Leeuwarden this time, still Friesland) suddenly decided the house should not be inhabited by three adults. The third house mate who was at least a normal person, left and another year later my son stays with a couple of guys he knows, but doesn’t have a place to live. He too is cursed as heavily as I am by that evil sect and so the Dutch government which is a slave of them, works against him just as much as they do against me. And I can’t fight them, since nobody listens to me. Not even my son himself.


Knowing sexuality exists at a young age kills you

The thing that causes you not to have a life is not only that you have a very little chance of succeeding as a MK Ultra ‘product’. Not knowing how to deal with life and being so heavily obstructed that you can’t learn it either is of course a killer, but there is more. The bare fact that a child is forced to get to know sexuality at a much too young age destroys the very soul of the child. The sexual abuse is extremely traumatising and maybe even more the toughness and lack of love of all the people you’ll ever meet. The sect counts about a billion (!) members worldwide, so they will never let any of their members escape by getting to know normal people. I myself didn’t even know they existed until a few years ago and I’m not the only one. When I was a healer and got many patients who had grown up in a satanic family or at least in the satanic environment, they were all very surprised I was a genuinely nice and warm person.

When you know what sex is, but can’t show it to others, because the perpetrators forbid you to talk about it, you become different from other children. You can’t have normal friends, because you are broken and the others aren’t. Not as much as you are anyway. You grow up as an outcast and learn success, happiness and normality aren’t things you will experience in your life. You may look at others how they live nicely and well, but you may never be happy and carefree yourself. That is how sexual child abuse destroys children until the day they die, because if you don’t manage to totally heal yourself, you will never know what life is. You won’t have a career, your family will be broken by the Satan sect and you will always have only failure, misery, pain and grief in your life. Plus all that will be passed on to your children and stay forever in the family.


Child abuse must stop!

Everybody knows child sexual abuse is the worst thing you can do to a kid. It is, but having a child grow up with hatred is just as bad. Children need love, love and more love. Real love from two parents towards a child. In Greek we have a word for that: στοργή (storyí). Motherlove maybe in English. No child deserves to be exposed to the bare existence of sexuality until he or she is ready for it and that happens automatically somewhere in puberty. The Satan sect must be rolled up and stopped now!



If you want to heal the pain from child abuse, one of the things you need is beautiful and meaningful music. So music today is a wonderful song from the sixties by Libanese singer Fairouz. When I wanted to find out who wrote it, it turned out to be the Rahbani brothers in the late sixties. It doesn’t only help because it’s such a lovely song, but the rhythm of it helpt putting your limbical system to work again. Then you won’t experience constant setbacks anymore. It’s not without a reason I was called The Brain Lady (de Hersenvrouw) for years when I was still a healer: I know everything about the brain that is necessary to heal any disease, condition or trauma. I once wrote an article about it that I will look up and put back on the website. It is because my own largest talents are not only languages, but also psychology and music.



Here are the lyrics in English:


Fairouz – “What for the talk?”
(music and words by Rahbani brothers)

What for the talk? – the moon drifted and dragged on us
it made one look explain his love and complain to another

What for the talk? – on their encounters, the lovers
understand each other without talking…

Between me and you, my sweet, what happened in our story?
There’s no meaning in the words, we dont say it to the girls…

We were talking in the language of signs, we were talking so, and so the explanation lingers on…
But when we regained consciousness, we forgot what do we need to say…






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